Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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