Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
