Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
