This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
please come you make the beer taste better
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
