anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
