yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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