It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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