I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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