OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
