i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
