I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
