Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
