1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am puke
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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