I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
