I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
