Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
