Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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