feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
