Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
