thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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