yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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