This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
