i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
