3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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