Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you win again, gameday.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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