good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
