I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
