This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
