He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
