He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Where is the hickey?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
