come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
