Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
