i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
