pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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