Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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