look no pants
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
