im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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