i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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