thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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