i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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