Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
