Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
All the doctor said was why
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
