plz talk dirty to me
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
