hotel room ftw
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
