what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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