I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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