I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
