Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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