Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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