He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
