I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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